Justin's Funeral

We buried my sweet baby Justin's body Saturday. Some people may not understand our need to bury him, considering it was a miscarriage, but I know it was the right thing to do. It was a small, although very sad service.

Here is the program

Front

Inside

Family was invited, but mostly it was for me & Dallas to say goodbye. And the neatest thing happened, instead of saying goodbye, we both said we'll see you when the time is right. It is amazing to me how many blessings this little child has brought to our family. I won't go through a lot of it now, but as sad as it has been I am truly honored to have been able to bring this special little spirit into the world, for however short a time it was.

We asked the boys to pick out a few things to give to their brother.
They were all happy to give Justin something to play with.

Dallas and I picked a few things out as well.

Here are a few pictures of the service

Here's all my boys

Here's all of us

The boys were able to carry the casket all the way to the limo.

They thought that was very special.

Here is the wreath Dallas & I had made for the service.
(It is made of artificial flowers so we were able to keep it)

The boys each put a white rose on the casket.

Later, we went back to arrange the flowers on the grave.

This is the poem that I wrote the day I came home from the hospital. It was also on the back of the program.

OUR ANGEL
By Becky S. Orr

You were born so small and fragile.
A tiny, perfect little doll.
Ten little fingers and ten little toes,
To help make up our beautiful boy.

My arms ache to hold you again.
To feel your tiny hand in mine,
To kiss your sweet, handsome face,
To hold your body close to mine,
To always keep you with me,
And never again let you go.

But the Lord decided
You were too special to Him,
And before I had a chance
To show you to the world,
He called you back
To be in His loving arms.

Born too soon before your time,
You will forever stay in our hearts.
We set out to have a child,
But gave birth to an angel.

In loving memory:
Justin David Orr
Born Silently
October 21, 2008

I am so grateful for our Heavenly Father's love and truly know that everything happens for a reason. I love you all and God bless!

Sad News

This is an email my husband sent to a few people and since I am having trouble finding the right words, and his letter is so beautiful, I will just post his letter.



Well unfortunately I waited too long to write and now in this message I have to be the bearer of some sad news.

We lost our newest baby last night. Justin David Orr was born silently into this world at 7:15 p.m. on October 21, 2008. He weighed in at 2.3 ounces and measured 6 and 3/8 inches long. Becky was 5 months along, but the doctors say Justin passed away about 4 weeks ago. His cord had become twisted, and his little heart stopped beating.

I got a text from Becky on my way home from work Monday night. She had started bleeding a couple of days before and on Monday it became worse. When I arrived home, I found her sobbing. She said she hadn't felt the baby move in quite some time. We arranged for sitters for the other kids and immediately went to the medical clinic. They did a couple of tests and then called her doctor to come in from home. He searched for a heartbeat for the longest time, as our hearts began to sink. He finally rolled in an ultrasound machine and could find no heartbeat, and the baby's size was 4 weeks behind what it should have been. He scheduled an ultrasound the next day at the hospital so we would have a second opinion, but told us to take that night to prepare for the worst, because he was sure the baby was gone.

We spent that night looking up information on infant deaths in the womb. We have never dealt with this and never prepared for it. As we searched several sites on the internet, a page filled with infant sized coffins appeared, and Becky and I both broke down in tears, knowing what lay ahead of us.

The next day our worst fears were realized, and Becky was admitted to the delivery wing of the hospital to be induced. At 7:15 that night Justin was born. We were able to spend 2 hours alone in the room together with his little body. He fit in the palm of my hand and stretched from my fingertips to my wrist. His body was progressing perfectly, and we spent time holding his little hands, and touching his little feet. We both wished that time would never end, but also knew it was time to say goodbye, and let his body be taken. At the time, we had not known it was a boy as Becky had not had her ultrasound to determine the sex. A million things were going through my mind when I had an impression we needed to give the baby a name at least to help with our closure, and that the name should be Justin. As the nurse was filling out information sheets she asked if we had a name for our lost child. I asked Becky if she had thought about it and she said she felt strongly that we needed to name him Justin. I told her that I too had and impression what the name needed to be. It was a very special moment shared between us at such a bleak time.

Becky is home now and doing as well as can be expected. It has not been an easy day as we had the task of finding a funeral plot, and are scheduled to meet at the mortuary to finalize arrangements and pick a coffin. I do not envy parents who have to bury living children that they have bonded with and grown to love. My heart is broken and I can imagine no worse sorrow. As we found a special quote on the internet I will share. "How do you say goodbye to someone you never had a chance to welcome."

Becky and I set out to have a child, and she gave birth to an Angel.

Love
-dallas

Birthday cake

I havn't made a home made cake in YEARS! And when I say home made, I mean get a cake mix and frost it myself. I used to make them quite a bit, but the more kids I had the less time I had! With Kyler's Birthday today & Colby's next week (this is his year for both a friend AND a family party), I decided I would make some instead of buying all of them! The train cake is the one the family got to eat. It has lots of yummy candy on it as well as the frosting, so there was plenty of sugar rush going on! The little one was all Kylers! And of course Kyler after eating his cake!

Birthday Boy

It is a sad day. My baby is 1 year old! I can't believe a whole year has passed since he came to us. All my kids have been a blessing (insert joke here), but Kyler is by far the sweetest & happiest baby I have ever had! I always know when he is sick, cause that is when he gets fussy. Okay, also when he is hungry (which is a lot!). Here are some of his B-Day pictures, since we did cake & ice cream for him yesterday.

My 8

My 8

8 Favorite TV shows...

1. Heroes

2. CSI (all 3)

3. Survivor

4. Chuck

5. Eli Stone

6. Medium

7. Gary Unmarried

8. Lost



8 Favorite Restaurants...

1. Red Lobster

2. Lei's Mongolian BBQ

3. Tempanyaki Japanese Steak House

4. Rodizio Grill

5. Melina's

6. Taco Bell

7. Taco Johns

8. Texas Roadhouse



8 things that happened yesterday...

1. Tried to quit drinking Diet Pepsi, and lost

2. Emailed a friend who is having a crisis

3. Scrambled eggs for my kids for breakfast

4. Watched a couple old episodes of Heroes

5. Cooked hamburger stew for dinner

6. Planned to go to bed by 10:00 & managed to get there by midnight

7. Told my kids atleast times to do their homework

8. watched Tracen play football



8 things to look forward to...

1. Halloween

2. Thanksgiving

3. Christmas

4. Kyler's 1st Birthday

5. Finding out if the new baby is a boy or a girl

6. Arrival of new baby

7. Making Holiday cookies

8. All the yummy holiday food



8 things I love about Fall...

1. Halloween

2. Thanksgiving

3. Christmas

4. Making Holiday cookies

5. All the yummy holiday food

6. A warm fire

7. Snuggling under the covers

8. The new fall TV shows



8 things on my wish list...

1. New video camera

2. An organized, clean house

3. Laundry room remodeled

4. Kitchen remodeled

5. Tile in my dining room

6. Fun vacation with kids

7. Fun vacation without my kids

8. To eat healthier



8 people I tag...

1. Roxanna

2. Teri K.

3. (no one else I know has a blog!)

4. (no one else I know has a blog!)

5. (no one else I know has a blog!)

6. (no one else I know has a blog!)

7. (no one else I know has a blog!)

8. (no one else I know has a blog!)

spelling

It has been brought to my attention that my spelling is atroce... atrosh... really bad! I apologize now for any miss-spelled words, 'cause I know I won't get any better!

Family Photos

We actually went and had professional pictures done. You know, like not from my own camera!We havn't done that since Colby was 1 month old! (he will be 6 yrs old this month!) The main reason we did it is because my side of the family wanted pictures with our whole family, since the last time we did that was when Tracen was a baby! The boys, from right to left are: Tracen (9yrs old), Colby (will be 6 this month), Kyler (will be one this month) and Jacob (7). Of coarse the big guy in the middle is my hubby Dallas and the idiot in the back is me! (man I HATE picture! Could I have one more chin please!) It was really fun though, we had quite a few taken, I will post some on here as soon as I figure out how to do more than one picture!