Wednesday, October 21, 2009

So, yesterday was quite a day. It was the one year (anniversary?, birthday?, ?) since we lost my sweet baby Justin. I had a weird day with many mixed emotions. On the one hand I couldn't believe it has been a whole year since it happened, some memories being so vivid it was like it happened that morning. On the other hand a whole lot has happened in that year and some memories I had to struggle to recall. I also feel a little guilty for being pregnant, like maybe I should have waited.

My family sent me flowers, and they were supposed to come yesterday, but were accidentally delivered on Monday, and I thought how sweet my family was for that, but was surprised I didn't cry. I was really touched, but thought, 'maybe I can handle this one with no tears'

Then today, I get another bundle of flowers and the lady said, 'My boss wanted me to tell you these were ordered on Saturday.' Most people would think how odd, but I knew right away they were from my husband. Those of you who don't know my husband wouldn't understand, he's not big on sending flowers, but whenever I get flowers from my family for my birthday, he always jokes that the florist must have forgot to deliver the ones from him. So, I'm thinking, 'How sweet he sent me flowers!' There were lots of purple and some pink, some lilies and lots of carnations, which are my favorite flower. (although I found out later he had to call my sister to see which flower I liked best! You think, after fifteen years of marriage...) Then I read the card... he wrote it as though it was Justin who was saying it and it said the sweetest things, and it had a little stuffed bear tied to it, I bawled for half an hour!


Barbara said...

OH, sad day, but that's neat about the flowers from your family and Dallas. I'm glad you'll have another little one soon. Sure hope Tracen gets better fast. I'm sure if he's being treated and can just sit and play the Wii all he wants with no competition, he's probably doing all right! Sure wish I could see you before I leave, but it won't happen. Glad you're taking precautions. Have you had the vaccination? Take care!

Geisler's said...

Dallas is so sweet!! I still cry all the time and its been two years. Your so much stronger than me. I love your strenght!