Wednesday, November 5, 2008
So, I had a checkup at my doctors office yesterday. I was sitting in the waiting room (the waiting room is shared with a couple dozen other doctors) thinking how I could tell my doctor how proud I was of myself and how I am handling my grief. Yes, every day something comes up that makes me sad or teary eyed, but not break-down-totally-lose-it crying. You know, stuff like realizing I can put the baby stuff away that I was leaving out, I can get a flu shot now, stuff like that. So, I look to my right and there is a pregnant woman there. No big deal, then I look to the left and there are TWO pregnant women there. I get a little emotional, and decide to look ahead...just as two women walk by with very small babies! So...I am trying so hard not to cry and not to look at ANY ONE when I pick up on a conversation behind me. I didn't hear it all, but the gist was whether or not to name a baby if it hasn't lived outside the womb (and they were taking the no-need-to-name-IT side). I thought, 'ARE YOU KIDDING ME! IT ISN'T BAD ENOUGH WITH THE THREE PREGNANT LADIES, BUT THEN THE BABIES AND NOW THE CONVERSATION!' I felt that was the last straw! It took everything in me not to turn around and shock the heck out of them by telling them what I went through! Needless to say, yesterday definitely ended on a not so good note!